Memorize with Me Monday

I believe that memorization of Bible verses is important for many reasons. One of these reasons is because we are told to meditate on His laws day and night. It is important that we hide God's word in our hearts because by keeping God word in our heart we are more able to:

• witness to others
• Find comfort
• Victory over sin and satan
• Follow Jesus example

But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect. ~ 1 Peter 3:15

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. ~ Colossians 3:16

Our church is doing something called Weekly Fighter Verses. Each week we have been memorizing a short scripture. Starting next week I will be posting that scripture on my blog, not only to help me with memorizing them, but to invite you to join me in memorizing them.

Gratitude Jouranal Entry # 21, 22, 23, 24

    I have not gotten this far in my story yet, but It came to mind today. 2012 was a very difficult year for me, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I had just become Mom to my second children on November the previous year. She had me on bed rest and for just over 2 months. I was adjusting to mothering two and gaining my freedom back. She had wanted to come early and had me on Bed rest for just over 2 months before she was born. In January of 2012 I had back surgery. I went back to work in the late spring and lost my job a couple months later. At the end of the summer I had my gallbladder removed...it was a hard year for me. Later in the fall I was diagnosed with depression. I started meeting with a Christian therapist who has been wonderful. I am grateful for all that I have endured (#21). If it doesn’t kill you it makes you stronger right?!!

What I realized this morning hit me like a ton of bricks. I have taken my husband for granted in the worst way. While I was on bed rest and undergoing my procedures...my husband was the one who was in charge of EVERYTHING. When I say everything I mean it. We had family and friends help with the kids and occasionally coming over to clean and bring meals..and I want them all to know that I appreciate everything they helped with (#22)!!

My hubby, cleaned the dishes, washed the bathroom, did the laundry, cooked the meals, took the kids to where they needed to be. He went to the store for food and household items. He washed the floors and vacuumed. He sorted the mail and paid the bills. He cheered me up and encouraged me. He made me smile and told me everything would be okay. He was my support. He took me to all my appointments..which were quite often. He worked lots of overtime. He did so much. I am so grateful for all that he did (#23)!

I didn’t realize till this morning that I took him for grated. He did so much. I am now a stay at home mom and the house is falling apart. This morning, I swear every dish that we own was dirty on the counter. That is when it hit me. The two little kids were running around, pulling out things they shouldn’t have been. They were yelling and fighting back and forth over toys. I stood at the sink and decided to power through the mess. Then it hit me. Scott had to do all this. But he also had to deal with my whining, almost like another child that needed help. I am sure that I said thank you to him a millions times back then, but I wanted him to really know how I felt. so, I called him this morning at work and let him know how much I appreciated everything he had done for me over the past year.

We have been talking about having another baby..but Scott really doesn’t want to go through that again and I can now understand. He must have had a tremendous weight on his shoulders, plus the fears of having a preterm baby, or his wife dying. He is an amazing man and I took hm for granted...shame on me. I am so blessed beyond all measure that my Lord and Savior gave me such an amazing gift, that is my husband, my best friend and my soul mate (#24)!

Let Go of the Past

I struggled so much to let go of love. I struggled so much to say goodbye to a friend. I struggled so much to forget the past. I struggled so much to accept my future. I struggle still to forgive...

I found this super article: Read more here: I have copied it below for your convenience :) It's worth the read..trust me!

Letting Go of Past Hurts

Past emotional, mental or physical abuse, or being deeply hurt or mistreated by a friend or an enemy, are common causes of depression. I have had my share of such experiences. Bitterness, anger and unforgiveness are typical responses to such injustices suffered, but as these reactions hinder our walk with Christ, the Bible gives us ample instructions on how to overcome them.

Let me also mention here that in many of the above cases, especially where abuse is involved, getting help from a trained Christian counsellor or a professional health care worker is very highly recommended if not absolutely necessary.


Keep No Record of Wrongs

Isaiah 43:18-19
"Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.”

This passage provides a vivid description of a life damaged by past hurts – a life that has become a wasteland, a desert. Dwelling upon a record of wrongs weighs us down and heavily burdens us. But the Lord’s instructions to forget those former things and not dwell on them, comes with a beautiful promise. Letting them go releases streams of living water into our life and enables God to do a new work in us.

One of the greatest new works Christ does in our lives is to bring us to a place where we can forgive those who have hurt us. This is such an important aspect of our daily Christian walk that Jesus included it as part of the Lord’s prayer. Luke 11:4 “Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us.”

Instead of dwelling on past hurts, we can let go of those memories and forgive the person that hurt us. Although we cannot make ourselves forget the memories, if we stop clinging to them the painful associations will fade significantly.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-5 ‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.’


“But it is Part of Who I am…”

One reason I had trouble letting go of past hurts was because they had become part of my identity. “I am this way because of how that person mistreated me,” was an excuse I believed. I feared that if I let go of the anger and record of wrongs and forgave the person who had hurt me, I would lose a part of myself, part of my very individuality.

However, Jesus taught me that such fears were unfounded, that I did not have to hold onto past hurts in order to maintain my identity. He showed me that there was another option - to allow His love and forgiveness to flow from me towards the person who hurt me. And when I did this, instead of anger and the record of past wrongs being part of who I was, Christ’s love and forgiveness became part of my identity.

If someone were to meet me and hear my testimony now, they would not hear me say, “I am this way because of how that person mistreated me.” Instead, they would see that I have forgiven the person who wounded me, and in fact love them dearly with the love of Christ. If they were to ask me how this could be so, I would answer, “I am this way because of Christ’s work of love and forgiveness in my life.”

When we let Christ's love and forgiveness become part of who we are, we change and become more like Christ. And is that not our goal, to become more like Him? 'It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.' Galatians 2:20 (NLT)

As we learn to surrender our lives to Christ, He can give us such a powerful revelation of His love for us that we can view others through His loving gaze rather than through our own eyes. I have experienced this very powerfully in my life.

Let us be like Stephen, whose attitude towards those who unjustly stoned him to death was: ‘While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit." Then he fell on his knees and cried out, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." When he had said this, he fell asleep.’ Luke 7:59-60

What a wonderful testimony this is to the power of God’s love. When others see us forgive - even love - those who have hurt us, they see the power of God’s kingdom in action, and their lives are changed too. I have heard of many cases of abusive prison wardens in Soviet countries coming to Christ after witnessing the unconditional love and forgiveness of their captives.

Harbouring Unforgiveness Hurts Ourselves

If we have been deeply hurt by someone in the past, we earnestly desire to flee that pain and be set free from the wounds. A thought that I would like us to bear in mind is that by consciously or unconsciously harboring anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness towards that person, we unwittingly participate in keeping those wounds fresh and unable to heal. That is one reason that Jesus spoke so often of the importance of forgiving those who have wronged us. By not forgiving them, we hurt ourselves even further.


To Forgive Others, Reflect On How Much God Has Forgiven Us

The most liberating Biblical truth that helps us to forgive those who have treated us unjustly is to recognize the depths to which God has forgiven us.

Why does the Bible say, “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you,” Matthew 6:14? It is because for us to refuse to forgive others after God has forgiven our massive debts towards Him, shows a lack of appreciation of how much God has forgiven us.

We all know of the parable in Matthew 18:21-35, where a servant who owed millions of dollars to a king, had that debt cancelled when he asked for mercy. The servant then went on to throw a fellow servant that owed him a few dollars into prison, because he had not paused to reflect on the mercy the king had extended towards him.

This is the key to forgiving others, as Selwyn Hughes writes: ‘I would not judge you or condemn you if you said: “I can never forgive that person for what he (or she) did to me.” But what I would say to you is this: the more you reflect on the wonder of how much you have been forgiven the easier it will be to forgive even the worst sins that have been committed against you.’ (1)

So, regardless of how much we have been hurt by others, let us forgive them. If God forgives us of our numerous sins towards Him, we can forgive others of their (comparatively) lesser sins towards us.

And then we will be sons and daughters of God, revealing His nature to a hurting world, as it shows us in Luke 6:35-36 “But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High…Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”


(1) Every Day with Jesus, Monday 18th Feb, Selwyn Hughes, CWR, Jan/Feb 2002"

Stolen Memory Space

Giving up a friendship is not easy. Ozzy and I had went our separate ways, but we shared a mutual group of friends. It was rough. At first, after I said goodbye, I knew that I wouldn't be able to go to group activities..I would be the one to back away. It was my choice to let him go. But after awhile of being away from our friends I missed them..and in honesty I missed Ozzy.

Scott and I decided to bond with our friends we would hold weekly poker nights at our house. Yes we gambled for real money..not all the time, but most of the time and it was fun. Sometimes alcohol was involved. Scott rarely drank, but everyone else did. These poker nights soon turned into a weekly obsession. I looked forward, probably more than I should have, because I knew that Ozzy would come. At first it was so awkward to have Scott, Ozzy and I in the same room, but as time went on, it began to feel like old times again...I loved Scott don't get me wrong, but for some reason my flesh is weak. I have always been physically attracted to Ozzy. Each week I would see him again, I would get a whiff of his cologne and I would let my mind take me back in time. He would look at me the way he used to. He would tell me that he still loved me when we somehow were alone on the balcony or in the kitchen grabbing more beer.

The emotions of being with him are never very far under the surface..If I want to go looking for them and be wrapped up in them I can to this day at whatever moment I want. There is just something about a deep love that doesn't heal much...not even over time. I sometimes wonder if it's like a punishment for the things I did. But I really know that it's Satan. It's always Satan when it comes to things being sneaky or crafty. He will do anything to break a marriage apart. Sad. At least I am smart enough to figure it out now.

As hard as it was, the best choice in the world was move away. Because of it, we decided to not be part of the group anymore. We sometimes really miss the people who knew us so well. We miss playing with cards with people who loved them as much as we did. Sometimes to this day we reach out to some of the members of the old group, but time of course has had our way with us..and we have nothing in common anymore. I have remained friends with only a very few of the old group.

But to be honest with you..the hardest times for me personally are important dates. For example, I am sure I will always remember his birthday. It's actually just passed a couple of days ago.. For years, even after we moved away and Ozzy and I stopped all communication, we both found ways of at least saying happy birthday to one another. It was several years ago now, but on my birthday, I didn't hear anything...It kind of hurt my feelings. It is hard for me not to look up his info or track him down to say happy birthday. His birthday was kind of an inside joke because he turned one year older than me first..so I always would ask him what it felt like to be older. Silly I know.

It's really sad how vivid the memories still can be. Then I remember...this is one of the reasons I want to share this story with others. These are memories that I can never take back and can never erase. Sure they aren't too harmful, but they are always there. My memories of love and tenderness, passion and heat should be reserved only for your spouse. It kills me to know that these memories are so strong and have stained my heart forever..it was over 8 years ago. The memories individually might be great, but I don't want them anymore. When I have time to reflect on my past I want happy memories. I want pure memories. I want memories that should have been there in the first place...not memories of lies, cheating, sex, remorse...and failure.