Isaiah 43:25
“I, even I, am he who blots out
your transgressions, for my own sake,
and remembers your sins no more.
and remembers your sins no more.
Monday, April 15, 2013
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Gratitude Journal Entry # 25
I am thankful that I can share my faith with my readers. I don't take that for granted. I know how lucky we are that we can talk about God so freely and openly. And today I am thankful for that.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
My Wounds Have Been Healed.
The Bible says, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." ~ Psalm 147:3
I love this verse so much. It's one of my favorites. I think I love it so much because it is so true!! I have experienced God healing my broken heart. If you read my post yesterday this will make a lot of sense to you today. After my affair was brought to light and my choice was made my world crumbled. You would think that making my choice would have been the hardest part...and at that time, it felt like it was. Dealing with my broken heart on so many different levels was were I struggled the longest.
I have hope!
This verse has been something I have clung to for awhile now. I felt like there was no way my heart was going to heal. I thought that I should just give up. I thought that my heart was going to ache forever. Yes I still have some days when my mind started to wonder. I stop and pull in the reins. I think about all the things that I have gained. I reflect on my Savior's love for me and that He takes the time to bind my wounds. He takes the time to carefully wash out the dirty. He takes the time to hold me and comfort me when I cry. He takes the time to heal my heart. I sometimes feel like my heart will forever be missing a piece, but sometimes I forget about the hole. It still might be there, but God has placed a loving band-aid over the hole and wants me to fill it with his love, instead of sad memories.
I have hope!
My father in heaven loves me despite all the terrible things I have done. He has reached out in Grace and has washed away my iniquities. He has cleansed me white as snow. I know without a doubt that when I stand before him someday, he will look at me as if I had never sinned. He will know that I have loved him and followed him. I know that he will say to me, "Welcome home, my good and faithful servant." I look forward to that day with great joy and anticipation!
I love this verse so much. It's one of my favorites. I think I love it so much because it is so true!! I have experienced God healing my broken heart. If you read my post yesterday this will make a lot of sense to you today. After my affair was brought to light and my choice was made my world crumbled. You would think that making my choice would have been the hardest part...and at that time, it felt like it was. Dealing with my broken heart on so many different levels was were I struggled the longest.
I have hope!
This verse has been something I have clung to for awhile now. I felt like there was no way my heart was going to heal. I thought that I should just give up. I thought that my heart was going to ache forever. Yes I still have some days when my mind started to wonder. I stop and pull in the reins. I think about all the things that I have gained. I reflect on my Savior's love for me and that He takes the time to bind my wounds. He takes the time to carefully wash out the dirty. He takes the time to hold me and comfort me when I cry. He takes the time to heal my heart. I sometimes feel like my heart will forever be missing a piece, but sometimes I forget about the hole. It still might be there, but God has placed a loving band-aid over the hole and wants me to fill it with his love, instead of sad memories.
I have hope!
My father in heaven loves me despite all the terrible things I have done. He has reached out in Grace and has washed away my iniquities. He has cleansed me white as snow. I know without a doubt that when I stand before him someday, he will look at me as if I had never sinned. He will know that I have loved him and followed him. I know that he will say to me, "Welcome home, my good and faithful servant." I look forward to that day with great joy and anticipation!
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
The Brokenhearted
I had a broken heart. It literally felt as if my heart was ripped out of my chest, still pumping, as a huge hole was made. The hole is everything I thought love was. I cannot stress enough how much I was in love with Ozzy. I was ready to leave my husband for him. He was my world. He made me happy. He really showed me what love was. I was very selfish. I think anyone who has an affair is selfish. But I wasn't thinking about Scott or how to fix my marriage at first. Let me explain my brokenness.
First of all, the love of my life was gone..and it was my choice. I had a revelation from God that I was to be with Scott. I said goodbye to Ozzy even though my heart longed for him. My heart was craving him and wanting him more and more. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder..and for a long while it was true. I don't know how Scott put up with me crying because I was missing Ozzy. I was in mourning over the loss of our friendship and love.. One of the amazing things about my husband is that he is very compassionate. He held me as my body shook from sobbing. I told Scott about my dreams involving Ozzy. If I would have been in Scott's shoes, I don't think I could have handled it. I think I would be like, if you love him so much then go be with him and stop crying...
Secondly, I was heartbroken over the choices that I made. I sinned against my God. I Lied. I cheated. I was manipulative. I did some really, really bad things. I made really poor choices. I know that the Lord knows everything. He knows our thoughts and our deeds before we even do them. It took me the longest time to confess my sins to God. I bartered with him, telling him that He already knew everything so why did I have to say it. It was a terrible inner struggle that I faced. But of course God always wins...and I finally confessed my sins to Him about the affair and all the stuff that goes along with it. I truly believed that at that moment I confessed everything, He forgave me. But I didn't forgive myself. I continued to carry my sin and my shame with me for years.
Lastly, I was brokenhearted because I broke my sacred marriage vows. There is nothing I can do or say that will repair them. I slept with another man. I was in love with another man. I betrayed my husband, my family, my friends and sadly, my God. I could have another ceremony to have a "fresh start," but there is nothing, absolutely nothing that can be done to fix or undo what I did. I will have to forever live with that choice. It breaks my heart...I am still in awe of how my Husband can take me back and love me as if I did nothing wrong. If anything, I feel like he loves me more. I am beyond blessed by him. He daily amazes me.
I earnestly pray that whoever has gone through an affair will have a spouse that will help them up and brush off the dirt and keep moving forward as if nothing has happened. Let me be very clear, Scott never ignored the problem. We worked on our marriage for years and talked together about what happened..But Scott has never held my mistake over my head. He has never used my sin to manipulate me or belittle me. He has simple forgiven me and moved on. He has such strength and character. I am loved.
First of all, the love of my life was gone..and it was my choice. I had a revelation from God that I was to be with Scott. I said goodbye to Ozzy even though my heart longed for him. My heart was craving him and wanting him more and more. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder..and for a long while it was true. I don't know how Scott put up with me crying because I was missing Ozzy. I was in mourning over the loss of our friendship and love.. One of the amazing things about my husband is that he is very compassionate. He held me as my body shook from sobbing. I told Scott about my dreams involving Ozzy. If I would have been in Scott's shoes, I don't think I could have handled it. I think I would be like, if you love him so much then go be with him and stop crying...
Secondly, I was heartbroken over the choices that I made. I sinned against my God. I Lied. I cheated. I was manipulative. I did some really, really bad things. I made really poor choices. I know that the Lord knows everything. He knows our thoughts and our deeds before we even do them. It took me the longest time to confess my sins to God. I bartered with him, telling him that He already knew everything so why did I have to say it. It was a terrible inner struggle that I faced. But of course God always wins...and I finally confessed my sins to Him about the affair and all the stuff that goes along with it. I truly believed that at that moment I confessed everything, He forgave me. But I didn't forgive myself. I continued to carry my sin and my shame with me for years.
Lastly, I was brokenhearted because I broke my sacred marriage vows. There is nothing I can do or say that will repair them. I slept with another man. I was in love with another man. I betrayed my husband, my family, my friends and sadly, my God. I could have another ceremony to have a "fresh start," but there is nothing, absolutely nothing that can be done to fix or undo what I did. I will have to forever live with that choice. It breaks my heart...I am still in awe of how my Husband can take me back and love me as if I did nothing wrong. If anything, I feel like he loves me more. I am beyond blessed by him. He daily amazes me.
I earnestly pray that whoever has gone through an affair will have a spouse that will help them up and brush off the dirt and keep moving forward as if nothing has happened. Let me be very clear, Scott never ignored the problem. We worked on our marriage for years and talked together about what happened..But Scott has never held my mistake over my head. He has never used my sin to manipulate me or belittle me. He has simple forgiven me and moved on. He has such strength and character. I am loved.
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