Tuesday, February 12, 2013

The Trust Issue

Scott and I were working hard to rebuilding our marriage. We were learning to communicate more efficiently and most importantly, I was working very hard to show Scott that he could trust me again.

I was working very hard towards opening up and telling him my hopes and fears. There were many things that were very difficult to share with him, things I am sure he didn't even want to hear about. I shared with him dreams that I had. I told him when I was missing Ozzy. I told him when he was being unloving towards me. I told him when he made me happy. I communicated everything.

Meanwhile, Scott became very vigilant over my outings and rightfully so. Where was I going? Who was going to be there? When would I return? Many times,  I felt like he was treating me like a child. I would often express my frustrations with him..but my infidelity was in the forefront of my mind. I would tell him anything and everything he wanted to know because he deserved my honesty. He deserved an honest answer.

I had taken the trust he had in me and shattered it with my infidelity.

I slowly began to rebuild my trust with Scott. Each time he asked I truthfully told him where I was going and who I was going to be with. I even called Scott when the plans changed or I was going to stay out later than expected. I felt like a child with a a very protective parent, but then again, can I really get mad because it was my choices that make him question me.I tried to give him my answers without frustration or sarcasm in my voice. Slowly but surely I was making progress to rebuilding trust and repairing my marriage.

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