Remember we moved!

immeasureable grace has a new name and a new page...check it out here:

http://www.restoredthroughgrace.com/

Part 2 Check it out!!

Check it out...http://www.restoredthroughgrace.com/2013/07/15/prepare-for-battle-part-2-know-your-enemy/

Tough Question

Follow this link to check out the newest post over at restoredthroughgrace.com.

Prepare For Battle [Part 1]

Are you prepared for battle?

 Oh...did you forget that my site moved? Click the link to get to my newest post..and don't forget to change your bookmark!

http://www.restoredthroughgrace.com/2013/07/08/prepare-for-battle-part-1/

Idolatry?

Check out my latest post!! It's over at my new site!!

http://www.restoredthroughgrace.com/2013/07/03/idolatry/?fb_source=pubv1

Exciting News

I have exciting news! Immeasurable Grace is getting a make over!!!

 Immeasurable Grace is moving over to WordPress!! You can already check out the new site..But you should be warned that part of the makeover involved a name change!

Presenting:

  {Restored †hrough Grace}

 Come and check it out!

All new content will be posted at restoredthroughgrace.com . I will be keeping this blog (Immeasurable-Grace)  open for the next month only to post links to the new site. Come and check it out! Don't forget to change your bookmarks!

Also, more exciting news!! You can now find {Restored ┼hrough Grace} on  Facebook!

Wildcard Wednesday: Grow Where You Are Planted

In case you didn't know..I am an artist. It's a new found hobby. You may see some of my pieces spring up from time to time:) 

Grow Where You Are Planted!

I have heard this saying many times in my life. It never really meant much to me until this past year. My DH (Darling Husband) and I attended a small cell church for a while and the pastor was amazing! I learned so many things from Pastor Jason. He challenged my faith more than any other pastor in all my life. Two of his sermons I will treasure forever. In fact, I wish we would have recorded these messages. They were amazing. One of the sermons was preached by Pastor Jason when he did a series based on Hebrews 12:1-2. Each week for several months, families shared their personal testimonies as part of the sermon. "Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses...(meaning all the really cool stories from Hebrews 11)" We, the people who make up the body of the church also have amazing testimonies and stories of faith, and just like the faithful characters in Hebrews 11, we are living examples of faith. We need to grow where God planted us, because we are here, in this town, with these friends, at this church, at this job for a specific reason. I created this little piece of art to remember the importance of my life, and that I am -here- for a specific purpose.

I need to grow where God plants me!

The Selfish Monster

Selfish. This word is the root of all evil. Okay, maybe not all evil but selfishness is what caused the down fall of man and woman.

 Genesis 3: 1-7

3 Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

² The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, ³ but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”
⁴ “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. ⁵ “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
⁶ When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. ⁷ Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

The woman wanted to be like God. She was willing to put God's command to not eat the fruit aside to delight in her selfish desires. This is something that boggles my mind. Selfishness was one of the first sins in the Bible. The whole fall of man and the sinful nature that we have inherited from our forefathers and foremothers all started with selfishness. The punishment was harsh but justly given..yet generation after generation the sins we still take part in are that of selfish roots. Why have we not learned? It's so simple. Don't be selfish. But it's our selfishness that causing us heartache and leads us to sin. We covet what we don't have because we are selfish. We horde and keep the earthly possessions we do have, not wanting to share them, because they are ours. We boast about the things we own and what we can do. We need more, want more, buy more..because we are a self-centered people. I am not any type of exception to this rule.

My affair was the most selfish,  act I ever took part in. I wanted love in a way I wasn't getting it. How much easier would it have been for me to confront my husband and simply ask for love the way I needed it. My sinful nature lusted after my selfish heart, which lead me to spiritual death. I don't know of a more selfish act of sin, suicide maybe, but we are not going to touch that topic just yet. I selfishly ruined my marriage bed. I selfishly, yet knowingly, broke my marriage vows. I selfishly put my husband through hell as he was fighting and waiting for me to come back. I selfishly committed sin against God, who despite my sin and selfishness died on the cross for me, knowing that this was going to happen.

Despite the ugliness of my selfish heart, my God sees me as; beautiful, radiant, a princess, clean, loved, honored, treasured, anointed and His beloved. How can I keep this to myself? I will not be selfish with my King, My God.  I will shout his love from the mountain tops. I will write of His love and grace all over my blog. I will spread the joy and peace I have been given, despite of my sin. I admit that I am still swallowed by the ugly and untamed selfishness, that is my sinful nature..but I will fight the remainder of my life to tame this unwanted beast. I will pray with all my might that the evil selfish monster doesn't swallow me again. I beg God and plead with God for the marriages in this world to team together, as man and wife, and tame the selfishness that grabs us so tightly.

Praying For You Today

I apologize for not being around this week. My mind has been preoccupied. Please know that I am praying for you today. I am praying for those whose lives have been effected by the lies of an affair. I pray for those who are in the mist of infidelity. I pray for those struggling to keep their heads above water as they are maneuvering through the after math of an affair. May our Heavenly Father give you the clarity you need for your situation. I pray that God bind all the lies that Satan has you trapped in. I pray for honesty and integrity.

Summer Reading

Last night, I came up with a list of books that I would like to read this summer. The list is unrealistically long, 15 books. Fifteen! I know that there is no way humanly possible that a mother of two small children will be able to take the time to read so many books. I will have to narrow the list down a little bit, maybe 8?

I've never been an avid reader. I didn't like to 'waste time' reading. How silly? This past year, my sister-in-law got me involved in our local M.O.M.S group! It stays for Make Our Mothering Significant! Through M.O.M.S. we have done 2 book studies. I believe that is what got me so interesting in reading. We have read some real eye opening books. Besides M.O.M.S., I have also gotten involved in a book study through our church. We just finished a 16 week series about "What Did You Expect?" This book has been transforming!!

Paul David Tripp is the author of  "What Did You Expect?" He really nails his points home. Somehow, he completely changed the way I look at Scott. I have always loved and respected Scott, but somehow this book demonstrated love in a way that I had never thought of before! It really pointed out my selfishness in my marriage. It challenged me to love Scott differently. While reading the book, I really marked it up. The only other book I have marked in more is the Bible!! I have recommended this book to my friends and family. I am recommending this book to you too!!

If you want to refresh your marriage, need some encouragement or just like to read...you need to check this book out. It will not disappoint!You can add it to your summer reading list!

"What Did You Expect?"

Slow Fade

It is so amazing to me how quickly one can 'fade to gray.' It can happen so quickly. It's actually frightening. Looking back on my affair, that's how it started, a slow fade which continued and grew darker and darker until -I- dug myself a nice deep hole so deep, I couldn't find my way out. Should I go up? Down? I was so far in over my head..I couldn't breath. Dark. Secrets. Death knocking on the door. Not the type of death you may be thinking of. But death of my spirit and soul, turning away from God type of death. My past is so scary to think about. If you have never heard the song by the group Casting Crowns entitled, "Slowfade," please take the time to do a search on you tube..or better yet, here is a link! 'Slowfade' by Casting Crowns

It is a life altering song.

It starts with our daily choices. Daily. I don't know about you, but often, I made spur of the moment decisions, without giving it a thought. That is when the Holy Spirit comes into play. I know I have written about the Holy Spirit before, but it is not something to take lightly.


It's weird, but I am going to quote myself here. My blog post on October 31, 2012 was entitled Holy Spirit and there I wrote the following: "The Holy Spirit is our advocate. He will guide us in truth. In the sin of my affair, I ignored the urges of the Holy Spirit. At first, I could feel the Holy Spirit urging me, putting unrest and guilt in my heart. We are free to make our own choices and I choose to ignore the Holy Spirit. As I continued down the path of sin and shame, it seemed to me that  I was able to tuned-out the voice of the Holy Spirit. I am sure He was still urging me and calling me to turn from my sin. I became callous to my sin and began to justify my behaviors. I deceived myself into thinking that I was doing nothing wrong and I continued to look for validation. I was choosing to disobey God by living in my sin and continuing with my affair. "

We need to be spending time in the word. During my affair, unfortunate, I was not in the word. I was not even open to listening to the word. I had my back to Jesus and was running in the opposite direction. If only I would have been in tune with the Holy Spirit. If only I would have been reading my Bible. If only I would have remembered the price my Jesus paid for me on the cross. If then, I would not have gone down the slippy slope of an affair. If then, I would have been bold and would have fought -FOR- my marriage instead of against it. If then...

The only redeeming factor is my Jesus. My marriage was spared because of my Jesus. My marriage has been rebuild because of my Jesus! My marriage is a gift, a love of second chances because of my Jesus. I can't turn back the clocks and undo my mistakes. I can only treasure the time as we move into the future and count my blessing daily. Giving unending praise and thanks to God for extending grace and love. 

It's a Slow Fade..so be careful...

Memorize Monday

James 4: 15-17

15 Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that."  

16 As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. 

17 So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. 




So this week I decided to break apart the verses in order to memorize smaller chunks at a time. Hopefully this will help me remember..

Does anyone have advice on how to retain verses once they are memorized? 

Gratitude Journal Entry # 29

Gratitude Journal Entry # 29

I was asked by Jennifer, who runs unveiledwife.com, if I would be a regular contributor!!  I am so honored!!! If you remember I had submitted ab article that was featured on her website!! So this week, I am grateful for the opportunity to write for a such a wonderful team of ladies that ministers God's love and grace to other women. I am thankful that I can share my stories and lessons learned. I am blessed to be part of the Unveiled Wive team!

Check out Unveiled Wive dot com. unveiledwife.com

Every Good Thing

Amazing song that has filled my life with joy since the first time I heard it a couple months ago at a women's conference when the After preformed live! It was the first time I had heard about them!! This song helps me to keep my outlook on God and His blessings! I just had to share it with my readers! I hope you enjoy it!

No Regrets

Back when the affair happened and in fact just ended, I had not regrets. I felt that I deserved to receive love and if I wasn't getting my needs met by my husband than I should have them met by someone else...Selfish, I know. Reflecting back on this sad notion, I believe that is why I had the hardest time with leaving Ozzy. I mourned his loss for a very long time. In fact, to this very day, my heart still feels like there is a hole. That is one of the terrible consequences from participating in an affair...the grief and sadness you feel, five and ten years down the road. It takes the heart a long time to heal. I try to fill that hole with the love of my Lord, because he, and only he can fill me up and be my everything. It isn't an easy task. It takes perseverance and a lot of correction to always place God in the void.

I can now say, that I regret everything. I regret spending time with a man who was not my husband. I regret spilling my heart over to him. I regret sharing my dreams. I regret holding his hand. I regret kissing him. I regret day dreaming about him. I regret sleeping with him. I regret everything.  Honestly I feel sad to say these things. They feel so mean and hurtful if Ozzy was ever to come across this. But it is the truth. My relationship with God is my first priority with my life followed closely with my relationship with my husband. My action with Ozzy, hurt and has tormented me for years. My actions with Ozzy destroyed my relationship with my husband and cut me off from God for a time. I regret it.

The dictionary defines regret as:

re·gret

  [ri-gret]  Show IPA verb, re·gret·ted, re·gret·ting, noun

verb (used with object)

1.

to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.): He no sooner spoke than he regrettedit.

2.

to think of with a sense of loss: to regret one's vanished youth.

noun

3.

a sense of loss, disappointment, dissatisfaction, etc.

4.

a feeling of sorrow or remorse for a fault, act, loss, disappointment, etc.

5.

regrets, a polite, usually formal refusal of an invitation: I sent her my regrets.

6.

a note expressing regret at one's inability to accept an invitation: I have had four acceptances and one regret." 

I do feel remorse for my actions. I am sad that it took so long to really deal with my emotions and feelings of entitlement. But By nature, I am a sinful person. I have had several chats with my husband about the feelings that have accompanied the affair. He understands and encourages me, which to this day just blows my mind. I have been blessed with a great man who forgives me and loves me still. Scott is and has been patient with me as new feelings have surfaced from my writings. He is such a great encouragement to me...and then to think how much more God loves me and forgives me, is just mind boggling. I praise God for blotting out my sin and revealing to me that I needed to get out of the affair. I praise God for the opportunity to rebuild my marriage. I praise God for the removal of my sackcloth and clothing me in joy!! (Psalm 30) I believe I still have a long road ahead of me as I deal with the unique layers of emotion from my past and ones yet to appear as I write and reveal my heart.

Memorize Monday

Fighter Verse for this week is found at James 4: 13-14

"Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what till happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."

~James 4:13-14

Remember to help you memorize the scripture you need to:

Write, Rewrite and Recite!!

Gratitude Journal Entry # 28

Gratitude Journal Entry # 28

I recently was part of a book study through our church. We just had our last gathering this past week. It was bitter sweet for me because we had just started attending this church and I came into this group knowing 2 people. It was very nerve-racking for me, because at first, I am a shy lady. I felt like I was just finally starting to open up to these women and now we are done with the book. These ladies were insightful, encouraging and extremely helpful! I've made a handful of new friends. So, this week, I am thankful for the chance to be part of this group. I am thankful that these ladies took me in and love me for me. I am thankful for all the stories and lessons they shared from their own lives.

BTW the book was amazing. It was called What Did You Expect, by Paul David Tripp. I definitely will be referencing some pages in this amazing book throughout  my blog. I recommend this book to any one who is married or planned to be married..AMAZING!

Wildcard Wednesday: Sadness

                    Sadness

Watch her face with the tears rolling down.
Watch her mouth as she stands with a frown.
Watch her head as it hangs low.
Watch her feet, stopped, not on the go.
Watch as she stands with a droop.
It is time to recoup.

Her world is shattered and life is no more. 
Sadness is something we should not bypass or ignore.
It is agony.
It is fear.
It is loneliness.
It is real.

If I could, I would say
It won't always be as bad as this day.
Give it time, your heart will heal,
Everything now is so surreal.
You need not to give up
To find Joy again, worship.

Give Him praise for what you had.
Ask Him to comfort you when you are sad.
Seek Him first and He will shall pass on peace
He will bless you with great release.

By: Shannon Chilson 5-29-2013

A Major Consequence

I have a confession to make. Sometimes it's hard to write about the past. I thought I've dealt with most of these things, but the deeper I get in to the story, I am surprised by several emotions that creep up. I know that the thoughts and emotions that are tied to this tragic event are a consequence. I have been working though the emotions by reminding myself of the reality.  I also very aware that satan likes to confuse people. He likes to use our irrational emotions against us and ultimately against God.

One of the emotions that I have been struggling the most with is raw heartache. In an instant, I can mentally transport back into passion and lust. In just a moments time, I can be pulled in to the deep desires and heat that were once connected with my past. I have a very difficult time putting words to these emotions that I feel. I can describe the torture and the deep anguish I feel when I am taken back by these feelings. It is raw and fragile, like the colors being stripped out of a beautiful and delicate flower. Each time I am pulled into the past, I am haunted by the sin I committed. It is like I am there, still in the affair. My heart breaks and feels as if the void of Ozzy is still as deep and stings as much as it did when I had to say goodbye. My heart mourns the way I treated my husband and I can hear my vows breaking as if they were delicate china being thrown against a rugged stone wall. Pure agony..

My reality is not sneaking around and planning secret rendezvous. My reality is not being irrational with my emotions. My reality is not living with my head stuck in the clouds thinking that life is easy and love is so innocent. I will not allow satan to pull me into my past. My life is so different now. Of course an affair is easy, passionate, and has no responsibilities. Once you throw in children, house payments, employment and other everyday life, it pulls the romance and and effortlessness right out the window

I often have a hard time when I compare the affair with my real life. Affairs are enticing because they are not reality. It's so desirable to have love the easy way, with no work and no road blocks. My life now is full of road blocks and difficult everyday issues. But the great things about my love now, is that I know God blessed me with Scott. He chose Scott out of all the millions and billions of men to be mine, for me to keep and share my life with. Scott is an amazing man, not only to be willing to take me back after everything I put him through, but also because he loves me. Deep in his heart he loves me. He wants to please me. He wants to share my life.

Life is hard. But I love a challenge. Scott is my treasure from God and I want to work hard to keep out love strong. I will not let satan win over my emotions and flashbacks. I will not allow myself to dream about the ease of on affair. My heart is sad for the choices I've made. It has been 10 years since the affair ended. It is sad that it is still so fresh in my mind. A solid consequence for my sinful actions.

Memorize Monday

I don't know if I have mentioned this just yet, but our church is participating in Fighter Verse 2013! You can check out more about it here FighterVerses.com!! There are a lot of great resources to check out while you are there! 

Scripture is so hard to memorize mostly because I don't make it a priority. So not only am I going to write out this weeks Fighter Verse, but I am also going to spoil you with some tips on memorization. 

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:1 

Tips to help you with memorization:

1. Write it down. Write it out several times.
2. After all that writing (see tip #1) hang them up around your house. Each time you see the verse around the house read it aloud.
3. Say it out Loud! 
4. Practice!! Repeat the verse out loud over and over and over and over and over and over....
5. Make up a song with the verse. 

Gratitue Journal # ?

It has been a long while since I have made any additions to my gratitude journal, but in lieu of the deadly tornado in Moore, Oklahoma, I am blessed beyond all measure for my amazing husband and miracle babies. Praising God for the beautiful blessing of family.

Discipline from the Lord

So while doing a little research on the ideas of Biblical discipline I ran across this table:

	DISCIPLINE	TEST/TRIAL	TEMPTATION
FROM	The Lord	God, World, Satan	The Devil
RESULT OF	Disobedience	Following God	Pride or Exposure
HOW TO DISCERN	Fits Crime	Proves Faith	Leads Astray
RIGHT RESPONSE	Repent!	Persevere	Resist!
DO NOT	Make Light of	Shrink Back	Fall into
GOD IS SAYING	We are Sons	His Name is in Us	The Flesh is Weak
ENDS WITH	Fear and Holiness	Death and Glory	Sin or Victory

I found much insight. I love the 'How to discern' and 'Do Not' sections. I wish I would have found this in my younger years, but non the less, it has made a big impact in my life so far. I pray that others will grow and be challenged by this too.

I found the chart at http://www.acts17-11.com/rebuke.html

More information can be found here..http://www.acts17-11.com/studies.html

Punishment for the Crime.

Now as an adult I sometimes struggle with discipline. I often wonder if God disciplines us? He is a loving God. He is a gracious God. What would his punishment look like?

Hebrews 12: 4-11

God Disciplines His Children

In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 

 And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son?

  It says,

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,

and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,

because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,

and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”

Endure hardship as discipline; 

God is treating you as his children.

 For what children are not disciplined by their father?

 If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.

 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. 

How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! 

 They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best;

 but God disciplines us for our good, 

in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. 

Later on, however, it produces a harvest of 

righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Soon after the affair ended and Scott and I started rebuilding our marriage, I started having health issues. Serious health issues. After some testing I was told that I would not be able to get pregnant. Scott and I had not started trying at this point. We were focusing our marriage and knew, that for us, we would be waiting a while before we would start having a family. We, of course, wanted to eventually have babies. So this news was very hard to take.

I immediately deemed the news from the doctors as a form of punishment from God. It was some how a punishment to my sinful living. It was because I had ruined my marriage bed. The Bible tells us in Hebrews that the Lord disciplines those he loves. It was settled that I was being punished.

Several years down the road, Scott and I decided to start trying to have a baby. It took us several years to conceive, but soon after we found out we were expecting, we had a miscarriage. The doctor told me that my uterus was not conducive to caring. We were crushed.

I struggled for a long while with anger towards God. Why would he punish me for my affair by withholding children from Scott? I was so furious. I did not want to believe that God was loving and gracious. He was unleashing his power and wrath on me and my uterus. It took me several months to finally except that I deserved to be punished for my sin and that if God indeed felt that I shouldn't have babies then so be it. It was a fitting punishment for the crime I had committed.

However, as I look back at this story in my life..I can now clearly see that God was not using my health as a punishment. I also have learned that Punishment is too harsh a word. God doesn't "punish" us he disciplines us. There is a big difference between the words. In my naivety I was using the words interchangeable.

The dictionary defines the words as follows:

Punishment

 

1.the act of punishing.

2.the fact of being punished, as for an offense or fault.

3.a penalty inflicted for an offense, fault, etc.

4.severe handling or treatment.

Discipline

1.training to act in accordance with rules; drill: military discipline.

2.activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill; training: A daily stint at the typewriter is excellent discipline for a writer.

3.punishment inflicted by way of correction and training.

4.the rigor or training effect of experience, adversity, etc.: the harsh discipline of poverty.

5.behavior in accord with rules of conduct; behavior and order maintained by training and control: good discipline in an army.

I found that there is a settle difference between the two.

I have learned from my past that the Lord does indeed discipline us for sinning. God does not discipline us with retribution. He is not a detached, ruthless or unemotional God who wants to make us pay for what we did. Indeed Not. Our Lord is loving and caring. He loves us. We are his children. Just as I would train my young children, the Lord loving and gently guides and corrects us. He has high standard for us. He wants us to be Holy just as he is holy.

I also found an article from Gotquestions.org that made this point,
"God will use testing, trails and various predicaments to bring us back to himself in repentance. The results of his discipline is stronger faith and a rewarding relationship with God, but most importantly to destroy the hold of that particular sin over us."

I agree with this statement. After the affair ended Scott and I were in the mist of a marital emergency. We endured testing as we rebuild our marriage. But though the lessons we learned out faith has been strengthened and we matured together as our character was being shaped and molded by the Lord. The sin of of my affair was removed by the Lord. He has wiped out my iniquity and I am made anew!! I have learned my lesson as far as the disciple goes. With the help of the Lord, I have destroyed the hold that the infidelity had on my life. I am still dealing with the consequences, but that's another topic.

Exciting Times

Today is a very exciting day!!!

I am honored by my new friend, Jen, over at Unveiled Wives. I submitted an article sharing my marriage story and she choose my testimony to be published on her website today!! I am so excited!!

Jen, Thank you so much for the opportunity to share my marriage testimony but most importantly share God's redemptive story with others whose hearts and marriages may be hurting. I am blessed!!

You can check out my article By clicking here http://unveiledwife.com/immeasurable-grace-healing-after-an-affair/

Be sure to find Unveiled Wives on Facebook!!

Memorize Monday

Our bible verse this week:

To the contrary, 

"if your enemy is hungry, feed him; 

if he is thirsty, give him something to drink;

 for by doing so you will heap burning coals on his head." 

Do not be overcome by evil,

 but overcome evil with good.

Romans 12:20-21

God's Timing

Thank you so much for your patience with me as I haven't been blogging regularly. During my little sabbatical, so many amazing things have happened which have solidified my calling to write and share my story. It has been a challenge for me as I reopen wounds of the past. I really want to be real and share my raw emotions about my affair because it is my desire  for others to understand and relate to the hurt and pain. As I am writing sometimes I have to take the time to re-deal with the topic or emotion that is tied to the story I am writing. My calling to writing has been full of lessons and rewards. God is good.

I believe this may be my first post that has been written NOW, not from the past, not looking into the future, but what I am dealing with today and have been dealing with over the last month or so. I am dealing with some health issues. The doctors are still poking and prodding trying to find the source of some pain and issues with my stomach. Since, I have been away, God has definitely taught me a little about perspective. And I am ready to write again. It's only been a week or two and to be honest with you I missed it.  I've never stopped writing. I've been writing just not publishing any of my posts.  I missed sharing my story with others. 

The day after I decided to take a little break from writing, God surprised me with a different plan. A speaking opportunity was presented to me. I am blessed for the opportunity to speak with others and share my story and remind other's of how important ministry can be! I will be speaking later this summer. This was a super cool way of God showing me not to stop and to keep going.

Several days later God hit me with another wake up call. I heard him loud and clear. The back story is that I ran across a beautiful blog while researching love and marriage. I noticed that there was an invitation to submit and article about marriage. I knew right away that God wanted me to submit this article. I made it a goal that by the end of April I would submit an article. I did achieved the goal and was really nervous. While, long story short, I received an e-mail that my article would appear on the blog next week!!!

I am finding that God has renewed my strength. He has boosted my confidence.
He says write.
I say, "Yes Lord! I will obey!"

Time Off

Just so you know I didn't fall off the face of the Earth, I am still here. I have been dealing with some health issues.  I will be taking the next couple of weeks off as we figure out my health situation. Thank you in advance for all your prayers as I have been writing and sharing my story with you. Thank you also for prayers as we deal with these health issues.

Memorize with Me Romans 12:14-16

 You can always check out more from http://fighterverses.com/set-3-core-esv/week-19/

Romans 12:14-16 

 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.

Romans 12:14-16 

Memorize with Me

Romans 12:11-13

¹¹ Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 

¹² Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 

¹³ Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Gratitude Journal Entry # 26

Gratitude Journal Entry # 26

I have a handful of friends who have been encouraging and supporting my writing/blogging. I am so blessed to have these godly women in my life. Today, in particular I am thinking of one of these ladies. She can relate to sharing personal testimonies and the patience and endurance that goes along with it. I am grateful that she push me to write even when I am having a hard time. She prays for my writing. I am so happy to be connected to her in this way. Praising God today for her friendship and support. Thanks you Esther for your love and encouragement!!  I encourage you to check out her blog, For This is the Time.

Wildcard: Slow Fade

Powerful video..Be careful, because sin sure is a slow fade. Please tune into the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Be sure to never push out his voice. Praying for my readers today..

The Forgiveness Process Part 2

Personally, the hardest part about the forgiveness process was forgiving myself. I had to bestow forgiveness and accept it all at the same time. I cannot express to you the emotional shame and guilt I felt. I viewed myself as a "bad person." Even with forgiveness from God and my husband..I still felt like trash. I felt ugly. I felt unlovable. I felt raw on the inside. Years after the affair had ended I ended up crying in a counselor office. She had pointed out that I had forgiven everyone involved except myself. She challenged me to write myself a letter.

It took me several weeks to complete the letter. I would start to write and become so overwhelmed by emotion that I had so stop. I didn't want to face all the sin and disgrace that was caused by my affair. I was so disappointed in my self. After several attempts, I had to push my self through the pain and memories and complete the letter. I thought writing the letter was the hardest part...until my Counselor asked me to bring the letter to our next session. I figured she wanted to read and analyze what I had wrote, but nope. She asked me to read it-OUT LOUD! Can you believe it? It was pure torture. It was so hard, but she encouraged me and pushed me until I finished. I folded the letter and put in down on the table as I grabbed another tissue..and then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Something amazing happened. I had an amazing epiphany. It felt amazing when I had finished reading the letter out loud. It was like a switch went on. I needed to verbalize by sin. I needed to vocally express my sorrow and dishonor. I felt that way when I had finally verbalized my sin to Christ. It was freeing. It was liberating. I was forgiven. I leaned the importance of communication.  I needed to hear the words aloud. Just like Jesus needs/wants us to speak out sin and ask for forgiveness. He doesn't call us to "think" about forgiveness, but to ask. It is so true for all relationships, including the relationship we have with our self.

I am human and so I occasionally struggle with past failings and errors. I believe it is part of our sinful nature.  But it is such a relief to find respect and grace for myself again. I am not a "bad person." I simply made extremely poor choices. I am a new creation in Christ. I am free.

Memorize Monday (Isaiah 43:25)

"I, I am he

 who blots out your transgressions

 for my own sake, 

and 

I will not remember your sins."

 

~Isaiah 43:25