Wednesday, November 7, 2012

"Avoiding Fatal Attraction"

Dr. Shirley Glass - NOT 'Just Friends'

I have been re-reading a book entitled, "Not "Just Friends" Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity." It is written by Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D. with Jean Coppock Staeheli. This book is very informative and gives insight into the process of an affair from 3 different view points; the betrayed partner, the unfaithful partner and the unmarried affair partner.I wanted to pull out one section from the book that offers a few tips on how to "Avoiding Fatal Attraction". It's found at the end of chapter 1. You can find out more about this book and author here at

"Most of us would not want to live in a world where we didn't feel some magnetic attraction to otgher people. But it does make sense to develop personal strategy for protecting yourself and your relationships from the fallout of acting on such impulses. People who know how to safeguard a long-term relationship may not be able to say exactly how they do it, but you can be sure that they follow, consciously or unconsciously, these basic guidelines:

  • Know that attraction is normal. But just because you feel it doesn't mean you have to act on it. Being attracted to someone else doesn't mean that you've chosen  to be with the wrong person.
  • Don't let yourself fantasize about what it would be like to be with that other person
  • Don't flirt.
  • Avoid risky situations."

I know these tips seem so simple and easy.  A no-brainier. If you have not sat down with your spouse and set limits and rules for conduct with the opposite gender, please take the time to do so. Come up with a personal strategy to protect your marriage.

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