In chapter 4, Tripp talks about being marital masons. Building your marriage up brick by brick.
Here is what he has to say..
"Every day we lay little bricks on the foundation of what our lives will be. The bricks of words say, the bricks of actions taken, the bricks of little decisions, the bricks of little thoughts, and the bricks of small-moment desires all work together to form the functional edifice that is your marriage. So, you have to view yourself as a marital mason. You are daily on the job adding another layer of bricks that will determine the shape of your marriage for days, weeks, and years to come."
All the bricks we lay are little moments in our lives...lots of little moments.
I was a marital mason, until my affair. I then became a bulldozer and knocked every brick I had ever laid. My marriage wasn't reshaped it was ruined. I am sad that such a catastrophe can cause a person's perspective to change so drastically. I am so careful about the bricks I am relaying..I am responsible for the destruction of my marriage and now I am so careful and mindful for the little moments in our marriage. The little things that may cause others to react in a harsh way don't even phase me.
"My husband didn't load the dishwasher the right way."
My husband doesn't watch the kids with same watchful eyes..they need to be watched."
"My husband leaves his dirty clothes on the floor. The hamper is 2 steps away."
"My husband never cleans up after himself...
the complaints go on and on and on...and for me..these little things don't bother me anymore. I wrecked our marriage, I think I can handle picking up his dirty clothes. I broke my marriage vows, I owe it to my husband to allow him to load the dishwasher the way he wants to.
I really want others to learn from my perspective..I don't want others to have to endure the crushing realities of a broken marriage. I pray that through my lessons that others eyes will be open to my perspective..It is so amazing the change that happens when your marriage has to endure such hardship and needs to be rebuilt from scratch, please learn from my lessons so that you don't have to go through this.
Click the book for a link :)
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