Thursday, April 4, 2013

Gratitude Jouranal Entry # 21, 22, 23, 24

    I have not gotten this far in my story yet, but It came to mind today. 2012 was a very difficult year for me, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I had just become Mom to my second children on November the previous year. She had me on bed rest and for just over 2 months. I was adjusting to mothering two and gaining my freedom back. She had wanted to come early and had me on Bed rest for just over 2 months before she was born. In January of 2012 I had back surgery. I went back to work in the late spring and lost my job a couple months later. At the end of the summer I had my gallbladder was a hard year for me. Later in the fall I was diagnosed with depression. I started meeting with a Christian therapist who has been wonderful. I am grateful for all that I have endured (#21). If it doesn’t kill you it makes you stronger right?!!

What I realized this morning hit me like a ton of bricks. I have taken my husband for granted in the worst way. While I was on bed rest and undergoing my husband was the one who was in charge of EVERYTHING. When I say everything I mean it. We had family and friends help with the kids and occasionally coming over to clean and bring meals..and I want them all to know that I appreciate everything they helped with (#22)!!

My hubby, cleaned the dishes, washed the bathroom, did the laundry, cooked the meals, took the kids to where they needed to be. He went to the store for food and household items. He washed the floors and vacuumed. He sorted the mail and paid the bills. He cheered me up and encouraged me. He made me smile and told me everything would be okay. He was my support. He took me to all my appointments..which were quite often. He worked lots of overtime. He did so much. I am so grateful for all that he did (#23)!

I didn’t realize till this morning that I took him for grated. He did so much. I am now a stay at home mom and the house is falling apart. This morning, I swear every dish that we own was dirty on the counter. That is when it hit me. The two little kids were running around, pulling out things they shouldn’t have been. They were yelling and fighting back and forth over toys. I stood at the sink and decided to power through the mess. Then it hit me. Scott had to do all this. But he also had to deal with my whining, almost like another child that needed help. I am sure that I said thank you to him a millions times back then, but I wanted him to really know how I felt. so, I called him this morning at work and let him know how much I appreciated everything he had done for me over the past year.

We have been talking about having another baby..but Scott really doesn’t want to go through that again and I can now understand. He must have had a tremendous weight on his shoulders, plus the fears of having a preterm baby, or his wife dying. He is an amazing man and I took hm for granted...shame on me. I am so blessed beyond all measure that my Lord and Savior gave me such an amazing gift, that is my husband, my best friend and my soul mate (#24)!

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