Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Who should know?

I am not an expert not that I am claming to be...But having gone through the experience of an affair...there are several things I have observed and learned and want to share them with the world.

Who should know about the affair?

I am a big advocate for having no secrets in the family. An affair is something that scars your heart. It can give another reason to trust you less and to feel disappointed in you. However, telling the family or close friends about the affair can be very helpful for several reasons:

  1. They can pray for you. The more people praying the better.
  2. They can hold you accountable and call you out when you are backsliding.
  3. They can support and encourage you if you allow them too.
  4. They can know the truth "straight from the horses mouth" thus minimizing the amount of rumors and faulse information that might be out there.
  5. They can share their stories with you and give you helpful advice...if you let them.
I do believe it is up to you who to tell. Of course the person who is having/had the affair will most likely be apposed to telling others. They don't want their reputation to be tarnished and may be fearful for how others will react or treat them. It is a hard road to walk, but so is choosing to have an affair. In my own opinion I think it is beneficial for others to know because of the above reasons. Having been involved in an affair myself, I didn't tell anyone because I was ashamed of my actions. I didn't want others to be disappointed in me. But the truth is..I am glad that my husband talked to others about it. He was trying to get as much help and encouragement as he could.

As a result of others knowing, I have lost nothing. My family still loves me and accepts me. My in laws still love me and accept me as I am. My friends still love me and accept me as I am...NOTHING HAS BEEN LOST! No one yells at me for my past mistakes, no one holds my past over my head or against me. I have been forgiven.

Man up to your mistakes, take the time to fix your marriage and get over yourself!

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