Friday, October 19, 2012

Am I afraid to share my story?

Am I afraid to share my story?

I am full of fear. I know that it is satan trying to scare me, not wanting me to share God's glory through my mistakes. I have told parts of these stories to others and have lost friendships because of them. I am scared to death that by revealing some of my past secrets that I am going to lose family and friends who will judge me or be disappointed in me. I am scared that my children when they grow older will be embarrassed or teased by their friends. I am putting my faith in God that he has a better plan for those who hear. I want to share my stories so that I can give hope and encouragement through God's grace to others who can relate.

I am deciding to follow God's calling for my life to be a writer and a speaker. I have given part of my personal testimony a couple of times to church family, but I have never done either task before on the topics that God has laid on my heart. I would love to share nothing but love and joy and happy stories from my life, but of course, the topics that God has laid on my heart are the ones that are difficult to share. The lessons that I plan on sharing are raw, heartbreaking, shameful parts of my past. I am not looking forward to opening the hurt and disappointment that I caused God, members of my family and friends. I disappointed myself in choices and actions that I have made. Yet God is calling me to share these lessons with you. He wants me to share His victory in each of these lessons. I know that I would not be the woman I am today if these events were not part of my history. I am not proud of any of them. But I want to share how God covered me with His grace. God loves me unblemished. He has forgiven my mistakes and shortcomings. Forgiving myself has been the hardest part. I hope that through these lessons that I want to share with you that God meets you. God is amazing and if I can find the grace He gives and the forgiveness of my sins I know that it's possible for others to find this as well. I pray that if you are struggling with anything that you give God the chance to change your life.

 I know that the devil is going to do anything he can to keep me down. He will cloud my mind with doubt, fear and apprehension, I Peter 5:8 "Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." I am keeping my eyes open. Lions are sneaky. They like to watch you while they learn your motions and learn your weaknesses. When you least expect it, they jump at you. They chase you. Very rarely will you get away. I am watching and warding off the predator as best I can. I can only do this with the wisdom and truth that I find in Jesus and His Word. I am not going to let satan stop me. I will not let fear or doubt stop me. Thank you God for giving me the authority over my enemy. I will boldly proclaim God's glory!

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